I'm an American who moved to the Netherlands 9 years ago. I love the bike culture, but I miss Trader Joe's and speaking English.

• Jaime Bancroft-Gennaro moved from the US to the Netherlands in 2017 for a better family life.
• Her family's transition included embracing Dutch culture and challenges like language barriers.
• She appreciates the Netherlands' bike culture and community, despite missing American conveniences.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jaime Bancroft-Gennaro, a 50-year-old consultant and coach, who moved from the US to the Netherlands. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I was born in Pennsylvania, grew up in San Diego, and went to college in Santa Cruz. After graduating, I moved to Oregon. At first, I lived in Bend, and then I spent 15 years in Portland.

When my son was born in 2009, my husband and I moved to Italy, where my husband is from. He was homesick, and it felt like the right move at the time.

When the economy crashed during the global financial crisis, we moved back to the US. We were always pining to get back to Europe — we just didn't know where or when the right time would be.

Before we moved to Europe for the second time, my husband sent me to Amsterdam by myself to see what I thought. I loved it, and we decided to move there.

In 2017, my kids started elementary school

Trump had been elected for the first time. My kids were coming home talking about immigration, lockdown drills, and other things that made me realize this wasn't how I wanted them to grow up.

Around the same time, my husband received a small inheritance, which really sparked the move. I thought, "We have the money to do it now. The timing seems right. When else are we going to do it?"

Amsterdam reminded me of Portland in a lot of ways. It felt like the right place for us. We were nearing the end of our lease, gave our landlord a couple of months' notice, and then moved right outside Amsterdam in 2017.

We didn't know anyone in the Netherlands

We didn't speak Dutch and didn't know the culture, but we felt that if we were ever going to do it, with our kids ages 4 and 6, it was the right time.

I was working in advertising, and there were a lot of advertising companies in Amsterdam. My husband had a job in software, and he moved with that job. I found a new job after I arrived. I worked under a work permit through my company, and that was my sponsorship to live in Europe.

When I later lost that job during COVID-19, I was able to stay in the Netherlands through my husband. I eventually became a citizen myself.

Since moving to the Netherlands, there are things I'm glad we did, things I like, and things I miss.

We got rid of most of our things

I decided we would get rid of most of our things except our kids' stuff. I wanted to bring all of their stuffed animals, toys, gifts they'd received, and their blankets. It felt important to keep what mattered to them — and the things that would make them feel most comfortable when we arrived.

I didn't mind getting rid of my own things. I'm a minimalist, and as someone who has moved around a lot, a purger, too. We brought our clothes, two cool retro chairs I loved from Portland, and my VHS tapes from college. My husband, who is a photographer, also brought a box of old slides.

I liked letting go of things because every time you hit a milestone in your life, or you move, you're a new person. For the things we kept, we hired a company that filled a shipping container with a bunch of other people's boxes. They sold us a portion of the container.

It wasn't much, but it worked. I do wish I had brought my bike because I needed one as soon as I got to the Netherlands.

We moved into a furnished house

We moved into a furnished house that we rented for the first two years, which was really helpful. We didn't have to worry about accumulating a bunch of stuff because we didn't know whether we'd stay long.

In the US, we paid $1,900 a month in rent, which included three bedrooms, carpet, and a dumpy kitchen with an electric stove, but did not include utilities. Our mortgage here for a four-bedroom with an office is €1,500, or around $1,745. We spend €150 a week on groceries.

We placed our kids in a Dutch school

When we arrived, we plopped our kids right into a Dutch school because they were so little. We wanted a language immersion program, but not an international school, because I wanted my kids to feel rooted somewhere rather than transient.

The kids were fluent after six months and stayed there for two years, and then moved to a Dutch public school. They feel like they're in it, whereas international kids tend to be on the outskirts. My kids feel are now fluent in three languages: Dutch, English, and Italian.

I love to take my bike everywhere

I like the bike culture of the Netherlands. In Portland, they have a bike culture, too, but it's not like the Netherlands. Every time you ride a bicycle, you're not on the street. There's a whole bike infrastructure with stoplights, stop signs, and roundabouts.

My kids also ride their bikes everywhere, and they don't need us to drive them around or take them to parties; they're completely independent.

I work from home and never drive anymore. If I ever left the Netherlands, I'd miss the bike culture.

People are always there to help each other

I love that everyone watches out for each other. If a kid falls off their bicycle, people are immediately around them trying to help. If an older person falls, it's the same thing. No one just passes them by.

We also have a neighborhood WhatsApp group where one older woman often asks, "Can someone help take out my garbage, or have coffee with me?" and people happily do. There's this sense of community where I think Americans are now getting a little bit scared of each other.

There are things I miss, including Trader Joe's

I miss going to Trader Joe's. OK, I miss Trader Joe's a lot.

I miss the small talk. I miss going to the grocery store and having the cashier ask how my day is going. Here, they're not chit-chatters. They use words very efficiently.

Also, they don't bag your groceries here.

I also miss English

People speak a lot of English in the Netherlands, but every time I leave the house, there's a little apprehension. I took a few Dutch classes when I first moved, and I know enough to get by at this point.

Still, I mainly worry I'll misunderstand someone or say something they won't understand. For example, if I get into a complicated situation, like falling off my bike and taking an ambulance, it would exceed my language abilities. Or when I visit my husband's family, they speak Italian.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not my full self, and I'd like to be. I'm friendly. I like talking to and meeting people. It feels embarrassing to ask somebody to speak English because I live here. I've realized I've become much quieter and more reserved than I was back in the US. I've become way more of a wallflower, and that makes me homesick.

Despite the discomfort, I would do it again

When I first moved here, I was uncomfortable. I had dreams about leaving, and I was ready to leave. I thought, I don't want to do this, but I had to move through the discomfort of being somewhere new.

Within the last couple of years, I've appreciated living here a lot more. I often think, look at what we did. I think it's so cool that we moved here.

At my 10-year anniversary of living here, I'd like to have a plan to move somewhere else. My son is in his last year of high school, and my daughter is a sophomore, but she's open to finishing high school somewhere else in Europe.

I like watching my kids really thrive in their communities, navigating friendships, and finding their places. I feel like we all have found our little pocket in the world, and I'm really appreciating it a lot more than I think I ever have.