Parents, dont track your adult childs location
Should you track your young adult's location? Not under these circumstances.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Mark McConville was shocked when he learned from a recent poll that half of parents location track their adult children aged 18 to 25.
"It's almost never a good thing," said McConville, author of Failure to Launch: Why Your Twentysomething Hasn't Grown Up...and What to Do About It, of the parental surveillance.
Location tracking an 18- to 25-year-old, he added, is most often an "index" of "parental anxiety" that doesn't "contribute in some concrete way to the development of the child."
SEE ALSO: 'Not everything needs to be known': How one day with no phone changed my lifeThose may sound like harsh words to parents who follow their young adult children's every step. Yet the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children's Health, which surveyed 1,542 parents on the topic earlier this year, suggest McConville is onto something.
Parents seek peace of mind
Roughly two-thirds of parents who location track do so for peace of mind or in case of an emergency, according to the survey.
The scenarios that make parents more likely to check their child's location? Standard young adult activities like being out late at night or in an unfamiliar place, hailing a rideshare or taxi service, or spending time with someone they don't know.
Another 21 and 17 percent, respectively, use location tracking to know whether it's a good time to call or to stay abreast of their child's activities and whereabouts. Nine percent want confirmation that their child frequents places that meet their approval. Eleven percent said they had no specific reason for the surveillance. Among parents who track, almost three-quarters said they always use a location-tracking app or software.
Tracking without consent
McConville wasn't the only one shocked by the findings.
Mott Poll co-director Sarah Clark told Mashable that the prevalence of tracking surprised her. But the fact that more than 50 percent of parents who track don't give their adult child a say in the matter also dismayed Clark.
"It's one thing if we have a conversation about it," Clark said. "It's another thing for parents just to do it without a lot of input from their young adult kids."
Tracking isn't a surefire reprieve from parental anxiety, either. Nearly a quarter of the poll respondents who track said following their child can make them more anxious than reassured.
Why parents should quit tracking
McConville understands the appeal of location sharing. His wife and golfing buddy both have his location for practical reasons. He also follows his teen granddaughters' activities via their location, but will only do so with their permission once they've left home.
Yet he's concerned about parents of adult children who track in a "supervisory" role or to manage their own anxiety. Tracking for those reasons may impede a young adult's ability to become fully independent from their parents. It can also undermine a young adult's confidence in their ability to manage their own life.
"It is not intrinsically damaging, but is it a signal that the development of autonomy or independence is somehow not being achieved or behind schedule?" McConville said.
How parents can reframe their tracking
While the poll didn't ask parents when they started tracking their adult children, both McConville and Clark suspect that it began for some during high school, when it could've been practical or developmentally appropriate.
Continuing the practice into young adulthood might be innocuous or even normal for parents, but McConville suggests a different approach as they come to terms with the inevitable.
"Do you expect that sometime your child is going to outgrow your supervision?" McConville asks. "Why isn't 19 an appropriate time?"
He also encourages parents to consider whether they're tracking for their child or for themselves.
McConville recommends that parents track their emerging adult child only with permission and only if the behavior is "negotiated as between two parties of equal status." Parents should certainly avoid questioning a young adult's choices based on their location data.
How young adults can push back on tracking
Location tracking may be a routine part of some young adults' lives, particularly if they follow (and are followed by) friends, roommates, and romantic partners.
The behavior is widespread enough amongst adults that it featured heavily in the latest season of the Bravo reality show Summer House. So, asking a parent to stop may not seem worth the hassle.
But if a young adult wants their parent to cease tracking them, McConville suggests beginning a conversation with open-ended questions.
The script could be as simple as, "I know you're tracking me. I'm sure you have some concerns. I'd love to hear what they are," McConville said.
In response, the young adult can present what McConville describes as a "data-based argument" demonstrating their competence. Those data points might include class attendance, grades, community involvement, and job responsibilities. Then they can deliver a straightforward plea for autonomy and independence, noting that being tracked makes them feel like a child.
Learning to tolerate disapproval
McConville acknowledges that some parents may consider tracking as part of the deal if they pay college tuition, for example. When the stakes are that high, McConville said the young adult may just decide to "grin and bear it."
But if temporary parental anger or frustration is the worst that will happen, McConville said that may very well be worth the long-term independence.
"One of the developmental tasks of that era is you have to learn how to tolerate your parents' disapproval," McConville said. "That's a really important thing of becoming a freestanding 25-year-old."